220pm
Today I’m stressed, sad, mad, REALLY MAD, at who? MYSELF! Why? Because I can not find a very important book that I need for one of the classes I take tomorrow that is ONLINE and a continuation to a class I took six years ago. I think I chucked the book!!! A couple months ago, I went through my shelf, cleaned up all the books I didn’t think I would need again and now regret it. Grrrr…..I am in tears, bawling my eyes out, mad at myself. In my anger I said some things to my husband and he took it as me blaming him so now he’s gone and left me here in my misery. I was crying with my head in my arms thinking, we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, I am a sinner. I said things I didn’t mean to say out of my frusterations. How I hate this. But as I was talking to God I had the peace of knowing that I am human and I do fail or fall, but He still wants me. He still wants me to call out to Him. To come to Him. In my brokeness He is here with me. This textbook is really expensive and the one I think I chucked had so many good notes in it, that would have helped this class I have tomorrow be a lot easier. So I guess I’m going to do this class the hard way, without the notes. I think I’ll find it real hard to remember what I learnt six years ago too, so it will be as if I’ve never taken the part one of this class. This class is basically learning the library coding language, so it’s very important. Hopefully, I can pick it up easily. Please pray for me if you pray. I need it, especially if I want to finish this STUPID program, I say stupid because I’ve already spent three years in it, and last studied it three years ago, and am scared to finish it after all these years. What am I afraid of? Not remembering part one or basically everything I already learnt before. (Honey, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. I said things I know I shouldn’t have. My bad. Can we start over? I will not throw another book out again.) So, I hope you are having a better day than I am.